Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Kept My Promise, Don't Keep Your Distance

I think about myself a lot. Not in an adoring, narcissistic way, but in a pondering, exploring way. I'm thinking of things that make me who I am, how I behave. No one really wants to hear a lot about who I am, what I do, so I'll make this post short-at least I'll try. I'm sort of helpless most of the time.  I read the instructions for microwave popcorn every single time I make it. When I get low on shampoo, I just wash my hair less. I plan my funeral, not my wedding, which I realize is weird and morbid, but I do it anyway. I want "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" to play at my funeral, and possibly "Violet Hill" and "Yellow". And I want white hydrangeas. I am supremely conflicted about cigarettes- I enjoy smoking, but I'm vain enough to worry that I'll get those gross little lines around my mouth when I'm old. Plus, cigarettes just don't seem very classy to me. So I only smoke cigarillos on the weekend, which actually isn't anymore classy or healthy for me, but it makes me feel better about doing it. I draw a lot, mostly little monsters and oddly misshapen cats, but sometimes I venture in a more whimsical style. I'm growing my hair out even though I'm doubtful it's a good look for me. My favorite nickname I have ever been called is 'Bumblebee'- it was clever and had to do with my butt, and maybe that's why I have a crazy desire to have the Patron bee tattooed on me. Plus, I like tequila. My favorite thing to eat is M&M's with peanut butter. As in taking a spoonful of peanut butter and plunging it into a bag of M&M's. Since I'm a poor college student, I make my instant potatoes with just water, because I don't have margarine or milk. The instant potatoes look like fish food, which I find both delightful and sort of repulsive. I like Halloween far more then any girl my age should, but I have not had the "Christmas Spirit" in years. People are surprised that I can take shots "like a champ", and music from Ke$ha has made me do some pretty crazy things. I regularly stay up to 4 in the morning studying. And I almost never, ever get stressed. I live by the words, "Whatever you want to do, do it now, for life is time and time is all there is", "experience all you can in life. Don't be the guy who doesn't know what a hangover feels like, don't be the guy whose never taken a road trip. Get out there and do things-look at a sunset, take a picture, paint, smoke,laugh, fuck, play, work, do whatever the hell you want to do, because what's stopping you? Put away the doubts, and just get out there." and "why the hell not?". I said I was going to try to make this short, but I guess that failed spectacularly.  I'm heading out for a night of debauchery. Sleep tight, or get off your butt and do the same.

No comments: