Tener Mens

Beatles Frenzy

2011-05-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

I'm a life-long Beatles fan...I grew up in a house where my dad played albums on the phonograph, my mother sang songs to us children before bed, and "Here Comes the Sun" was deemed "my song" since before I can remember. I was flipping through some old fashion magazines of mine today, and in a Fashion Rocks issue, I found the best editorial I've seen in a while. Featuring Sasha Pivovarova and Dhani Harrison (George Harrison's son), I was totally drawn in by the furs, the dresses, the free vibe of it. It's right up my alley, and completely inspired my wardrobe for this summer and fall!

French Vogue April 2011

2011-05-20T19:04:00.000-05:00

This editorial from French Vogue's April 2011 issue completely blew me away. Gisele is perfect, the free, nomadic, wayward vibe really just pulls me in, and it some how feels so intimate-like I'm looking at someone's (someone who is unnaturally gorgeous) travel pictures.

DIY Fever

2011-05-20T12:38:00.000-05:00

It's summertime, and as soon as the grass gets green and the sun comes out to play, I get so inspired with ideas of stuff to make and how to look. Summer hair and makeup, cutoffs, cig-burnt t-shirts, studs, safety pins, chains, homemade dreamcatchers, lace shorts, hi-lo hems. IN LOVE. I got a load of soft, worn in goodies from Goodwill yesterday- butter-soft flannels to bleach, mens silk pajamas to pair with anything, a Navajo blanket to play with and wear as a cape/jacket/poncho thing this fall, worn-in vintage t-shirts that I'll probably burn holes in, a few jeans that I'm preparing to sever later today. A trip to the craft store brought in studs, bleach, packages of RIT dye, and lots of leather cords. For fall, I'm thinking velvet skinnies (which I'll probably make this summer), leather leggings, velvet shorts, flannel dresses from oversized men's shirts, and a boudoir robe as a light jacket.

Projects start today!!

Floppy Hats and Sunshine

2011-05-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

Went and took pictures with Alice today. Went with a whole neo-hippie vibe while we trolled through the park- I ended up looking a bit like a witch, which I decided is a good look.

Sometimes All I Have is Words...

2011-05-02T18:39:00.000-05:00

He's saved me from all sorts of things
In bed at night, he held me, comforted me
even if he wasn't there
He was just a moment, just a memory
an almost-lover
sent from God-knows-where to save a girl
who didn't think she needed saving.

Platinum Blonde Life

2011-04-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

I always want to change my hair...but I've wanting to bleach it blonde for a long time now. I've asked some people's opinions, and most people say it wouldn't suit me, and a couple people saying it would be sexy as hell. I've sort of just gotten to the point that I feel like raising my middle finger to everyone and just go for it. I've been looking at hair porn for the past three weeks...and I only want to do it more. The only thing holding me back at this point? I'm scared to death of damaging my hair. I've been doing my research, and heard horror stories of hair snapping mid-shaft. Snapping. But I have heard that bleach and peroxide affect different hair differently, and what I really need to do is go to a salon and have an assessement of my hair done. Here are some pics of what I have in mind...minus the slutty vibe that you'll probably get from a couple of them...

Summer Staples

2011-04-11T21:26:00.001-05:00

Summer is well on it's way, and as I'm gradually building a tan, I'm excited to start wearing some paler clothing. In my past days of being freakishly white, dark colors really popped against my skin. Blacks, navys, and jewel tones really contrasted gorgeously with the pasty-white tone of my skin. I rarely wear white, because it tends to blend right in to my skin and it looks like I'm wearing nothing at all. I'm kidding, of course, but only a little. Of course if you're pale you can wear light clothing, just as if you have a darker skin tone you can wear darker clothing. But for summer, when even the most porclean-toned skin develops into a half a shade darker, it's really time for the pale clothing to come out. This summer, I'm thinking color, and a lot of it. Mixing pastels with neons is the best idea I think I've had for a while, and if I mix in my other current summer inspirations (crochet, castaway, studs, etc) I think it could really pop. Let me show you what I'm thinking :

And I have this tacky/amazing idea with Sharpies. Sharpie art. Everywhere. On jean cutoffs. On white tshirts. On walls. On cups. On Mugs. On furniture. Say what you want to say, and say it with a Sharpie. That should be a commercial.
Paradise Circus by Massive Attack is what I'm listening to currently...it's sexy as hell and gets me in the creative mood!

For Love For Literature

2011-04-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting on my bed, eating generic honey comb cereal out of a vintage aqua tumbler. Splenda on top. I just have a couple inspiration pictures for today, nothing too over the top. The first picture is from the amazing Pamela Love's F2011 collection. I am in love with this hair. It's like this grungy, surfer-castaway kind of look. And the earrings are to die for. I need some Pamela Love in my life. I'm not sure where the second picture came from, all I know is that it's the lovely Karlie Kloss modeling in this editorial. The colors are beautiful and the dress is like a sea urchin on crack. The water looks so cold, but the lush green hill behind it is beyond gorgeous. The third picture is just vintage and gorgeous. Look how short the dress is, look how white her hair is. I'm really craving this whole white hair thing...

Sort of a boring post for today, but I haven't been able to get these images out of my mind all day long. I'll be doing a wishlist/Spring staples checklist within the next couple days, and I promise that will be more interesting!

No One's Gonna Love You

2011-04-05T15:37:00.000-05:00

If you've never heard Band of Horses No One's Gonna Love You, please go do that right now. It's a gorgeous, magical song, and it stays in my head the entire day long...truly a beautiful song. Cee Lo Green did a lovely cover, and the video was made with blogger Jenny Sirney from A Gemini Rising and her photographer boyfriend Jason Lee Parry. This music video is one of the best I've ever seen...I want to live that like. I think I'll forgo this whole college idea and just drive around the country. Yes, that's a smart idea. Also, I want her hair.

The Scars of Your Love Remind Me of Us

2011-03-25T01:22:00.000-05:00

Always inspired. I can't help it, it stems from everything and I just wish I could properly document everything. The vibes I'm currently really excited about for summer: crochet, studs, pastel pink hair (improper, feral child hair-as always), graffiti, dream catchers, and braids. Oh, and those amazing shorts.

This will be an amazing summer...

Spring is Hair

2011-03-21T17:12:00.001-05:00

As you could probably tell from my hilariously punny title, I'm diggin this weather. It's dress season in full force (although probably with boots) and change is in the air. Just what do I want to change, you ask? My hair. I want it to be pink. Or lavender. Or a pale, pastel blue. If you've been alive and keeping up to date on fashion-world trends, this notion shouldn't seem completely insane. Maybe a little, but not completely. I'm a bit torn, to be honest. On the one hand, I think it looks beyond-cool on the girls who wear it pale and mussed. On the other hand, I wonder what it would transfer to in the real world. Would peekaboo lavender streaks or dip died cotton-candy hued ends look ultra-cool in my 8a.m stats class, or just misguided and sad? Twelve-year-olds, wanna-be rebellious adolescents, and my five-year-old cousin all seem to have this crazy hair color ideal in mind (in the case of my cousin, her My Little Ponies are her big inspiration). And I'm left wondering that now I'm past childish rebellion, spiting my parents, and coloring my hair with Kool-Aid, do sugar-sweet locks come off as contrived, or just plain rad?

apparently I have a thing for the pink...but this last picture is pretty amazing, not gonna lie. Love the tiny earrings too!

Today I'm listening to: The Pretty Reckless- Nothing Left to Lose

Liberté de la liberté d'être soi

2011-03-04T16:12:00.001-06:00

J'ai besoin de recommencer à écrire. Pour l'impression que le pouvoir de création que je possède dans mes mains, mon esprit. Trop longtemps j'ai erré sans but si cette vie, sans créer, sans lisant dans ma tête qui déborde de dynamisme, brillante, imagination luxuriante et mettre mes pensées à la vie.

donc pas. Je refuse de ne pas vivre la vie à sa pleine capacité. Je suis désireux de tout. Je ne vais pas vous contenter de moins alors tout. C'est mon hymne personnel. Rejoignez-moi?

I need to start writing again. To feel that power of creation that I posses in my hands, my mind. Too long have I wandered aimlessly though this life, without creating, without perusing through my mind which is brimming with vibrant, brilliant, luscious imaginings and bringing my thoughts to life. so no. I refuse to not live life to its full capacity. I am desirous of everything. I will not settle for less then everything. This is my personal anthem. Join me?

Liberty in the Freedom to be ourselves.

I'm on Fire

2011-02-24T20:27:00.000-06:00

Music is a huge source of inspiration for me. I have but to listen to a song to completely alter my mood, making me more reflective, more energetic, more in the mood to party. Music can portray loneliness in party tunes, yearning in anthems, energy in melancholy stories. And sometimes it's just a song. I'm just posting a few of my favorite songs, the ones that mean the most to me, right this moment and moments from the past. These are the one's that take me back to a moment, to a person, to a time in my life that mattered and affected me. Some are a bit sad, some are happy, all are powerful to me. A bit of a soundtrack to my life.

I included Way too many, I know. I kept finding one's that mattered to me, but I very well couldn't post the whole Killer's Sawdust album, so I settled with choosing random other loved songs. I wish I could post my whole list, but that would be never ending!

The Night is For Ones Like Us

2011-02-18T01:18:00.001-06:00

Walking along in my little red dress, steppin' in time with that car alarm. It's cloudy outside but I've got this flowery charm. Im walking on sunshine, and it's just as well. I've got a little secret, I'd better not tell.

Bright rays I emit as I swagger down the street, smiles and love to everyone I meet. So what if it rains? Nothing can get me down. Blissfully happy, I own this town.

Wink at the girl in the window, ain't she a lovely thing. Lips are like sugar, voice makes my ears ring. She smiles, how coy, but she still takes my hand. Her lips, how enchanting, but I don't understand. What will she do, I can't read her eyes. What will next happen? Life is a surprise...

I would take you home, rush to open the door. What better than twilight for love, drop your purse to the floor. The night is for lovers, and laughter and thieves. For candles for wine, for teasing to please.

I fell in love with your face, it's radiant light. In love with your embrace, it's warm comfort like night. In love with your hands, how they express so much. In love with your smile, your laughter, your touch.

Little love, take my hand, give me a hint? Pretty thing, my heart is beating a little too fast."Come with me!" I exclaim, and we dance down the street. Twirling, laughing, without missing a beat.

It's our own little dance, and we never rehearse. It's our song that we sing, and make up every verse. So magically in-tune, our bodies-our souls. We're young and in love, who cares about roles? we'll do as we wish, we'll do as we please. We'll flirt, we'll flounce, we'll giggle, we'll tease.

Stay away from a window, close to my lips. Moving our minds and dancing our hips. Some say we're naughty, some say it's sin. Well if that's the case, oh what trouble we're in...We'll raise our middle fingers, to those people below. They're shallow and wrong, and these things they'll never know: True love and bliss, dancing so free! Kisses and lips, loving you, loving me! We love what we do, winks upon winks. They don't realize that we just don't care what they think! (and our middle fingers are polished in pink)

Your looks make me burn. There's so much I could say, but it says so much more in the way that we lay. Our secret is safe and even if not, our naughty love is their fanciful thought.

We're pretty young things,and pretty we'll stay. Secrets contained on the bed where you lay. I pull you closer to me, you pull me closer to you- we'll think of things to do this whole night through. So what if they judge, they'll dream of us come night. The thoughts we inspire are our sinful delight.

Let's find foggy rain, and a mystical lake. Let's go swimming in the softest undress. Let's let old eyes see the youth in our laugh. Sexy or darling, honey let's take that path!

So let the pillow talk begin, let's tell secrets forever. We'll think we're sly, we'll think we're clever. But who could image this forbidden desire. My soul is alive for you, consumed with this fire.

My little puzzle, full of lace and tongue and tricks. Life's like a lollipop, how many licks? If your skin were a mirror, if your eyes were a dream, they'd show me the deepest desire of our greatest scheme.

A lush and heady night filled to the brim with ideas to seize, I'll do anything for you, my desire is to please. You're a dream, a doll- too good to be true. And when we finally fall asleep, I'll be dreaming of you.

Sleep is a canvas for our lovely dreams, nothing can be as real as it seems. Shutter your eyes against the empty room, maybe one day we'll sleep with our breathing in tune.

-Alice & Elle

Au Revoir Sweet Innocence of My Youth

2011-02-14T04:14:00.000-06:00

sometimes I just need to stop thinking, be quiet, and look at some pictures for a while.

Kate Moss

2011-02-04T12:52:00.001-06:00

This video- While Kate Moss was shooting an ad for Balmain, hidden camera's captured her expert posing, creating this bizarre, intensely felt video (with the help of artist Jo Ratcliffe). I adore everything about it: the song, the animation, and of course watching Kate Moss pose, unaware of the snakes caressing her. Surrealism is just amazing.

Creature Lover

2011-02-03T00:22:00.000-06:00

I feel as if I am in a masquerade, I care not what face is behind the mask, only the smile that you have left for me to see. I love your mystery, whoever you are, sweet lover.

I see you, I crave you, tender, lithe thing; yet unveil your passion and vitality. You are my little creature.

I think I'm in love with everyone. Tell me you agree…the rapture of your soul belongs to me.

I feel like making those pretty eyes look away – checking to be sure that we’re alone, to see those cheeks flush with the words I whisper to your diamond-studded ears.

Give me ecstasy, sweet angel. Laugh like no one else can, show me your pretty doe eyes, play coy because you know I like it. See these lips of mine? They are yours if you wish.

Do you want to come with me? Don't you want to feel my skin on your skin...it's only nature. Skin upon skin, lips upon lips, tongue upon tongue, the touch of a woman, bestowed upon another, man or woman, as sacred as anything that has or has yet to happen.

It matters not what is done, so long it is done with feeling, that which gives everything importance.

I am awake for you, and all I need is music and kisses, and you wrapped about me, like two puzzle pieces, and our lips are no exception...and our fingers in how they fit so perfectly, clasped, entwined.

I love the way you’re alive. Teach me, give me that magic, love me. Unlock the world that is a shadow, blooming into splendor that I never thought to see.

Be my little Rage Monster, we do bad things, but we do wonderful things. Try to tell me they’re not the same..make me just a little angry…pull my hair with those elegant hands and show me your heart.

Because, for us, feeling any emotion at all is reason to celebrate. Be my lover, shall we share the feeling? Smile, my beloved, for you know the way I love you is not like any other. Do I deserve the love-sounds that echo from your sweet lips?

A vision of our tangled hair, sparkling eyes, slightly smudged red that we so carefully applied to the teasing tilt of those lips I so crave. Hungry lips, ripe and full with the desire you inspire inside of me. Yearning, I pull you towards me. Deny me not, your world will deepen and spin when you are mine.

Curious eyes, those that so match my own; yearning to explore those things so forbidden. Swimming with a desire to recognize one’s own self in one such as me…In another, beautiful, sensual, playful creature.

How can those eyes turn into bottomless pools of emotion, how can they turn into fiery lustful tools? How can eyes convey more than even words, the aphrodisiac of the mind?

You and I, my darling. We are poetry, alive, breathing poetry. Alive and magical, glowing with discovery and with all things we never imagined.

Write me a story. Singe my pages with fervid emotion, and may the ink flow with the irrepricable beauty of this love. Your hands are the quill, your lips –the ink well. Write me a story with your body.

This beauty will be something of such ardor, such fervor, that all else will melt away and two beings will be left only with the fierceness and virtue of seeing that radiant creature in themselves, and in another.

Elle, Alyssa

The Monster of Love

2011-01-23T01:28:00.000-06:00

He was all contradictions,

All fuzzy and soft,

With hard twig arms,

And a nose made of cloth.

He had sharp little teeth,

And a charming grotesque grin,

Pointy owl-ears,

And on his back, a shark fin.

He was a nice little monster,

But was often rejected,

Among his monster friends,

He was never accepted.

They would ridicule him and mock him,

Push him and shove,

Just because he was the Monster of Love.

He loved little puppies,

And huge big hugs,

Bananas and noodles,

Even black bugs.

The only thing that really got him down,

Was the snickering,

And teasing,

And the occasional clown.

The more he thought about it,

The more he became sad,

Until one day he decided,

“From now on, I’ll be bad!”

“I’ll do doughnuts in parking lots,

I’ll get a tattoo,

and when I have class,

I’ll pretend to have the flu!

I’ll stop hugging puppies,

Stop residing in people’s hearts,

Instead I’ll shoot pool,

And learn to throw darts!

I’ll be so bad, baddest you’ve ever seen!

I’ll be abominable, atrocious,

And really,really mean!
It’s my nature to be good,

But it just causes me stress!

Because I am good,

My life is a mess”

And with that, he went off,

And did terrible things,

He smoked, cheated,

And had multiple flings.

He was a bad little monster,

As we can obviously see,

Until one day he decided,

“This isn’t me”

He crossed his twig arm,

And sat down to reflect,

On bad things he had done,

That people had come to expect.

And never in his life,

Had he felt so down,

And for the first time ever,

We saw Love Monster frown.

“I like being liked,

this isn’t right in my heart”

and with that, he decided,

“I’ll have a new start”

And with that he got up,

And as he brushed himself off,

His little monster heart,

Became three times as soft.

And so he resumed his Love-Monster ways,

And everyone loved ‘til the rest of their days.

And this is the story of the Love-Monster’s fable
and when you are bad,

Remember you are able,

To act as a saint,

To act as you should,
and when you are bad,

You can always turn good.
-Elle Bugman

Someday I Will Have No Regrets

2011-01-19T12:53:00.001-06:00

Someday I will have not regrets

-when I am old

I shall have no regrets.
I may have tattoos

And wrinkles and scars

And I shall never stop dreaming

I will have memories

And pictures

-proof of my grand life:

Filled with friends and lovers
Crazy nights and sleepy, heady mornings

-adventures and love.

I am desirous of everything.

I want to love and I want

To lose

I won’t need to be remembered

-I don’t care about such things.

I just want to know –on my deathbead-

That I lived and felt completely

And loved

Everyday

Everytime I Smell My Toner, It Makes Me Think of Vodka, Which Makes Me Think of That One Night, Which Makes Me Think of You

2011-01-18T01:22:00.000-06:00

Women are just...beautiful. I know, I know, I've said this all before. Everyone is beautiful, beauty in inperfection, blah blah blah. I know I've heard it all before, written about it even. But still, somehow I never tire of perusing through pictures of women, thinking about what makes a woman so very appealing. Men are beautiful as well, but just in a different way. Women have this divine ability to be wholly sexual in a completely different way. Isn't it intriguing how one sly look from a woman, how one delicate upward turn of lips, how the simple brush of skin against skin can be so completely compelling and exhillirating and mysterious. No one but a woman could make taking a sip out of a wine glass a suggestion of events to happen later in the night- no one but a woman can make such simple tasks of the everyday velvet and complex. I tend to believe that all women are equally as sexy as the next, they just are sexual in their own way. While one woman may bite her lip to convey her desires, another may spread her arms over the back of a couch. One may run a hand through her hair, one may share secret smiles with everyone she sees, all suggestions to the potential lovers that surround her. A woman whose body is covered with tattoos is just as sexy as a woman who abhors tattoos. A woman whose hair is short and unusual is just as gorgeous as the woman with the hair cascading down her back. Do you know what I mean? You don't have to be sexy in the way that woman next to you is. You don't have to be a "classic beauty". Define beauty for yourself. Whatever you find sexy, whatever you do that is sexy, let it be yours. Because you are sexy. Be confident, be proud of how you look, adore the quirks that set you apart. You have heard it since the day you were born, and as cliched as it sounds, it can't help but be true. You are special and valued. And though I'm almost sure your mother never told you this as a child, it is so completely true : You are so sexy.

Homeward is Where I Would Like to Be, But Only if I'm With You

2011-01-08T02:07:00.000-06:00

When I was a child I always thought being strong was the best quality a person could have. My childhood was not perfect, and there are many things that I would have changed if I could. I cried when I was little, when I was scared or so furious the tears just couldn't contain themselves any longer. But one time, one night, my father told me "You're the strong one in the family. Never be weak."I took this to heart. I learned how to take all the anger, all the hurt, and turn them into words. I was proud of my ability to contain myself, stare a person in the eye with no expression,even when I was burning inside. I learned how to be in control of myself. I forgot how to cry. I can remember the night when a marvelous uncle of mine-my Dad's only brother- died. I remember everything- how many times the phone rang, where I was sitting, how my mother answered it, the words that she said, the look the threw to my curious, clueless father. Everyone cried. I did not. I still feel a bit guilty, even to this day, how I never cried for my Uncle. I loved him so much, and even at his funeral, I sat in stony, solemn silence. I was polite, quiet, composed. Fast forward a few years, and I still did not cry from anger or depression or sadness. I scoffed at the "weak hyper-feminines" who bawled during my volleyball matches when we lost, or when they made a mistake. When the season was over, my whole team was dribbling all over each others shoulders. I smiled, doled out the hugs, and awkwardly laughed and said "well...it was a really great season, wasn't it?". I did this for years. Rolling my eyes internally while I gleefully distributed hugs and pseudo-consoling words to red-eyed, puffy faced girls. I never once cried. Instead, this curious phenomenon began to happen. I began to cry when things were...funny. Whenever I laughed, or was amused, tears would streak down my face. I always laughed about it, joking that I can't cry when I'm upset, only when I'm amused. I thought it was deliciously ironic; when girls were weeping about a spike that went into the net, I sported a giggle and grin, and several tears would leak out the corners of my eyes. I probably looked insane. Today, things are different. See, I'm a passionate person. I get lonely. I get angry. I get sad. I cry-when I laugh and even sometimes when I'm upset. The little wipe of my fingers under my eyes to catch a tear between peals of laughter is commonplace for me now, and I love it as a little part of who I am. A little quirk that is mine. And yes, I sometimes do cry from missing someone, from being in trouble with a friend or loved one, or from the sheer exhaustion of life. But now, I don't think it's such a weak thing to do. I think it shows strength, actually. Being strong, being alive enough to cry.

Zoe Kravitz

2010-12-22T11:26:00.000-06:00

The gorgeous child of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz has a killer style...with genes like that, a girl is bound to be a hippie-rocker-grunge goddess. On and off the red carpet, her style perfectly marries vintage glam, boho beauty, and rocker babe into look that is all her own. As the front woman of the indie psychedelic rock Elevator Fight, Zoe not only has a pretty face from her mother, but a perfectly raw voice from her father as well.

What can I say, she's a total babe. Take a gander:

Style crush, all the way!

Pins Pins Pins

2010-12-21T15:06:00.000-06:00

Voodoo Girl
by Tim Burton

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

This Is Just How I Feel Today...

2010-12-19T22:21:00.000-06:00

Sometimes words just can't describe how one feels...

Dear High Heels, Thank You (And Other Random Musings)

2010-12-18T16:57:00.000-06:00

It's snowy where I am. And I mean really snowy...imagine about 5 feet of snow covering everything. I am a huge advocate of wearing boots, and of course high heels, but sometimes I get really afraid to wear heels over ice and two-inch-deep-in-snow sidewalks. This is where my lovely, trusty pair of H&M booties come in handy. As you can see from the picture, they have a lovely rubber wedge that leads to a lace-up bootie with a smushy plush lining. In a word- perfect. Unlike my other boots that I usually wear (where I slip and slide over everything remotely snow-covered), these keep me delightfully grounded despite below-freezing temperatures. I recommend these, one hundred percent! Plus, I think they are freaking adorable....don't you agree?

Since I'm never short of sources for inspiration, I thought I would just post some pictures of things that have really been inspiring me this Winter Season...I always delight in dressing is tons of loose layers and boots, thigh-highs and stockings, hats and big loopy scarves, and of course my usual look of positively dripping in jewelry...not to mention the Holiday parties and family get-together's that are so abundant this time of year! I'm excited, to say the least, and here are some photos that I recently have been looking at and loving. Take a peek at these marvelous photos, and see if you get inspired.

I've been listening to Nirvana, The White Stripes, and Amy Winehouse all day. It's been super.
Now excuse me, I have some more Christmas cookies to bake up, and going to attempt to make a pair of rings using just wire...adventures all around today! Plus...it's Saturday! Fun in store for tonight? I think so :)

I Miss Your Ginger Hair and The Way You Like to Dress

2010-12-17T20:20:00.000-06:00

There has been a lot of talk about youth culture- and while some pseudo-adults(you know the type...the 16 year olds who think they've got all the wisdom of a 43-year-old, that they are past their prime, and much too mature to participate in such foolish activities as going to parties where "Animal" is playing over the speakers and black light parties) would be up in arms about me calling their age group "youth", that's just what it is. Yes, I'm an adult, and I make very real, adult decisions on a day-to-day basis. But I'm young. I have no misconceptions of how I act- I know I am not ready to have children, be married, and the mere thought of having a fiancee terrifies me. But I don't care, because I'm having the time of my life right now. And yes I make mistakes, and yes, I'm grateful for every single one. Yes, I party. I doll myself and the girls up in glitter and eyeliner, we mess our hair up, we dance around like crazy people. We are living our lives to the very fullest, not wasting our precious moments of life on people who don't matter and things that can wait. We live for the moment. To those people who think our lifestyle is irresponsible or "immature", I don't have much to say to you. I work hard at school and work during the week. I take care of myself financially. I make live-changing choices all the time. I don't rely on too many people. I'm self-suffecient, passionate, and hard working. And on the weekends, I party hard.
I think being away at college has just been so liberating for me. I do what I want to do, what I need to do, and I am having a blast. It's not all fun, as someone who has lived away from home can tell you, but it's amazing what the experience does for an individual. I'm no longer self-conscious at all. I'm confident in a way that doesn't come across as arrogance, but assured. I'm just myself, wholly and completely. I'm not so contrived and insecure that I feel the need to publicly announce my accomplishments, GPA, or public records. It would be childish and petty to mock other's lifestyles that may differ from my own, so I don't. Let people be people, be who they want to be. I don't need the reassurance of a boyfriend, but when I did have a boyfriend, I treated him like gold, and when I dp again, it'll be the same. But I don't need that. The mad to live people, the crazy, the wild, the party people- these are the people who get stereotyped. Being a girl who is excited to be alive, whose victories come on a daily basis (successfully making microwave popcorn, painting my nails with only a couple smudges and re-do's, saving a couple dollars at the grocery store), who goes out on the weekend, who wears glitter and probably too much eyeliner, who stomps shamelessly around in boots and never desires to look like everybody else, who lives life with delightful irrevrence, maybe I get lumped into this stereotype. But you know what? I don't care. People who are free, people who are wildly joyful at the prospect of a good time with their best friends, people who are not afraid to get a little dirty, to break the mold....come join me. People will look down on us, people will invariably judge us, people will mock us. But what will we Weekend Warriors do? We'll turn the music up louder, kiss someone new, scream shout and holler, and dump on more glitter.
But I should go. See, it's Friday night, and I have some fantastic plans involving some fantastic people. If you're a free spirit, a person who is desirous of everything...well...I'll save some glitter for you.

You Can Call Me a Dreamer...

2010-12-14T20:10:00.000-06:00

I had the most fantastic dream last night. I started awake immediately after and scribbled it down so as not to forget it upon waking, but that turned out to be unnecessary. I remembered it wholly and completely, and needed to reference the scribbled-on post-it only once, to get the poem exactly right.

I think I may have been outcast royalty. The dress I was wearing was like a cloud, all swirling organza made of the most vivid orange and turquoise, only it was torn and tattered in some places. I was in a dark forest, but as dreams usually work, I was inexplicably transported to a completely white world. No shapes, no walls, just white all around me. No wind even, it was complete stillness. I figured I had died, but I reached out a hand in front of me. As I reached out, my finger touched something, and from where my finger had touched, black lace swirled out, covering the surface with lace. I had something like the Midas Touch, only my touch coated things with black lace, not turned things to gold. I was thrilled and ran around, touching the whiteness around me, revealing everything I could not see before. I was in a great big room, and the last thing I touched was a desk. As I ran my hand over the whiteness above it, books appeared, covered in lace as well, and I could not open any of them, as they were completely covered in lace. As more and more books appeared, I became bored and made to stop, but not before revealing one book. It was black, as was the rest of the world I had revealed around me, but it did not coat in lace, therefore making it able to open. I picked it up, and, curious, I opened it. It was a poem, scrawled in black on pure white pages, signed with my name. It read:
My eyes can only see beauty,

My ears can only hear song,

My lips move only to smile or kiss,

My touch belongs to everyone.
-E.B

I traced my fingers over the words, and lay down, isolated in my new world of whiteness and lace.

And then I woke up.

David Downton

2010-12-10T18:42:00.000-06:00

David Downton has created some of the most dreamy, ethereal, fashion-oriented illustrations that I've seen in a really long time. They are as close to perfection that I can imagine- they are dreamy yet solidified- I can almost imagine myself living in a world of his drawings. I wonder what sort of magnificent world that would be like...I think I would like it.

We Runnin' This Town Just Like a Club

2010-12-09T11:40:00.000-06:00

Finals are done, it's snowing outside, and plans for tonight! I'm thinkin' it's a Ke$ha kind of night...will probably involve a couple bottles, some glitter sprinkling (or dousing) in some dorm rooms, messy hair, too much eyeliner, boots, boys, and running through snow-frosted streets! Right now, nap-time to prep for a crazy, wild, debaucherous night! When the dark of the night comes around, that's the time that the animal comes alive looking for something wild!

Nebula Dust and Peach Tea

2010-12-08T13:57:00.000-06:00

Today, I'm digging nebula dust and peach tea. Something about this cosmic fluffy stuff makes me sorta

wish I was a star. Or at least lived in space so I could look at this view! Today is a day brimming with stress. To combat this, I am drinking my liter of Smart Water and munching on spinach leaves that are a little crispy from being too close to the freezer. And listening to Glee Christmas music, which is surprisingly gleeful (punny, I know). Just look at these pictures though- don't you just want to be swathed in them? Jump in them? Cuddle with them? Have a dress made of them? I'm getting so inspired just thinking about a nebula dress...a billowing train of organza that swirls up to a sort of cape-like thing...haha it probably doesn't make any sense to you, but it my head, it's just perfect. I've compiled a few quotes that I've been thinking about today- the one's with no citation are from The Unbearable Lightness of Being-one of my favorite books in the whole universe. The first time I read it I underline about every paragraph to denote it as my favorite....eventually I realized that if every paragraph is my favorite, maybe the whole book is just my favorite. I hope you take a couple minutes out of your busy, hectic, stressful lives, and look at some gorgeous cosmic dust, sip on some tea, and explore some quotes, and the thoughts that they inspire.

“ I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. that’s the thing about girls. every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. girls. jesus christ. they can drive you crazy. they really can.

— catcher in the rye

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

— Kahlil Gibran

The Magnetic Fields, “The Book of Love”

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It’s full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing
but I, I love it when you read to me
and you, you can read me anything

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.

— Jack Keruoac

“the most beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek.”

- robert louis stevenson

“i want to stand as close to the edge as i can without going over. out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”
— kurt vonnegut

“it is completely selfless love: tereza did not want anything of karenin; she did not ever ask him to love her back. nor has she ever asked herself the questions that plague human couples: does he love me? does he love anybody more than me? does he love me more than i love him? perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe, and save it, have the additional effect of cutting it short. perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves to him demand-free and asking for nothing but his company.”

“when i was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. when I went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down ‘happy’. they told me i didn’t understand the assignment, and i told them they didn’t understand life.”

– john lennon

“waking up was a sheer delight for him; he always showed a naïve and simple amazement at the discovery that he was back on earth; he was sincerely pleased. she, on the other hand, awoke with great reluctance, with a desire to stave off the day by keeping her eyes closed.”

“how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”
- satchel paige

"the heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become… conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. what then shall we choose? weight or lightness?”

“while people are fairly young and the musical composition of their lives is still in its opening bars, they can go about writing it together and exchange motifs…but if they meet when they are older, their musical compositions are more or less complete, and every motif, every object, every word means something different to each of them.”

Tonight, There's a Lot of Things Going On

2010-12-08T03:05:00.000-06:00

Tonight...ohh tonight. Well, now it's actually getting close to 3:00 in the morning, so technically its morning. I had a completely event-filled day, brimming with hard work, hard fun, and lots of inspirations! The day started with studying studying studying, which eventually turned into an afternoon of studying, which turned into an evening of studying. Not super fun, but productive; I only got distracted a few times with thoughts of how beautiful jellyfish are how I want to learn to crochet. Once my brain was completely fried, I met up with some friends for some french fries and napkin doodles. Somehow we ended up at Target, where I fell in lust with a pair of thermal underwear, for only $12. Since I'm a dead poor college student, I woefully passed them bye with a sigh, my fingers trailing the delightfully waffle-like fabric. Naturally, we walked to Wal-Mart for cheap french baguettes and olive oil, and my friend and I decided that it would be a fantastic idea for me to give him a tattoo- I grabbed some thin beading needles and searched desperately for India ink, but to no avail- the tattooing will be delayed for a little while more. Some Smart Water later, we were wandering the aisles, and lo and behold, I ran into....THERMALS! Long-Johns, as we Minnesota's say, and for only $5. I gleefully snatched up a couple of pairs and we dashed to the checkout. Shopping completely successful! After that, it was movie time/french bread-dipped-in-olive oil time, then home for me! Studying tomorrow...planning on being at the library at 8:00am, making those new long johns look sexy! As sexy as long john's can get haha which most likely will look like tired-ginger-up-way-too-early-looking-like-a-typical-finals-week-student. Blah. Maybe I'll muster up the effort to pull on a pair of jeans. Probably not.
With that tale of my small victory, I'll leave you all with sent hugs and kisses, and wishes of golden slumbers to all of you lucky enough to be heading to bed. I hope tomorrow is just as perfect as today!
Oooo...and Jellyfish...

Fingers

2010-12-05T17:49:00.000-06:00

I'm doing this post for selfish reasons more then anything else... I have a bunch of pictures of finger tattoos that I've collected and I want them all in one spot for safekeeping. I have a thing for finger tattoos...I love hands and I find finger tattoos sort of beautiful, albeit unprofessional. Which is sort of a drag, but maybe I could just wear big rings-which I do anyway. Here are my favorite finger tattoos I've encountered on the Internet. I personally dig the last one the most because, well, that's practically my catchphrase. Maybe I'll get a bar tending gig in New York, then I could actually justify getting it...hmmm...

I Kept My Promise, Don't Keep Your Distance

2010-12-04T21:07:00.000-06:00

I think about myself a lot. Not in an adoring, narcissistic way, but in a pondering, exploring way. I'm thinking of things that make me who I am, how I behave. No one really wants to hear a lot about who I am, what I do, so I'll make this post short-at least I'll try. I'm sort of helpless most of the time. I read the instructions for microwave popcorn every single time I make it. When I get low on shampoo, I just wash my hair less. I plan my funeral, not my wedding, which I realize is weird and morbid, but I do it anyway. I want "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" to play at my funeral, and possibly "Violet Hill" and "Yellow". And I want white hydrangeas. I am supremely conflicted about cigarettes- I enjoy smoking, but I'm vain enough to worry that I'll get those gross little lines around my mouth when I'm old. Plus, cigarettes just don't seem very classy to me. So I only smoke cigarillos on the weekend, which actually isn't anymore classy or healthy for me, but it makes me feel better about doing it. I draw a lot, mostly little monsters and oddly misshapen cats, but sometimes I venture in a more whimsical style. I'm growing my hair out even though I'm doubtful it's a good look for me. My favorite nickname I have ever been called is 'Bumblebee'- it was clever and had to do with my butt, and maybe that's why I have a crazy desire to have the Patron bee tattooed on me. Plus, I like tequila. My favorite thing to eat is M&M's with peanut butter. As in taking a spoonful of peanut butter and plunging it into a bag of M&M's. Since I'm a poor college student, I make my instant potatoes with just water, because I don't have margarine or milk. The instant potatoes look like fish food, which I find both delightful and sort of repulsive. I like Halloween far more then any girl my age should, but I have not had the "Christmas Spirit" in years. People are surprised that I can take shots "like a champ", and music from Ke$ha has made me do some pretty crazy things. I regularly stay up to 4 in the morning studying. And I almost never, ever get stressed. I live by the words, "Whatever you want to do, do it now, for life is time and time is all there is", "experience all you can in life. Don't be the guy who doesn't know what a hangover feels like, don't be the guy whose never taken a road trip. Get out there and do things-look at a sunset, take a picture, paint, smoke,laugh, fuck, play, work, do whatever the hell you want to do, because what's stopping you? Put away the doubts, and just get out there." and "why the hell not?". I said I was going to try to make this short, but I guess that failed spectacularly. I'm heading out for a night of debauchery. Sleep tight, or get off your butt and do the same.

Let's Find Something Dumb to Do

2010-12-03T12:46:00.000-06:00

I was just staring out my window on the 11th floor at the intensely beautiful bluffs surrounding my little college town. They can't Not be beautiful, I've come to realize. In the Summer, when I first came here, they were lush green, rolling and dense, and I couldn't help but fall in love a little. When Fall came, the vibrant golds and reds made it seem like the bluffs were on fire, positively ablaze with seeming enthusiasm to shock and induce gasps of wonder before the Winter came. And now that Winter is here, the stark hills covered in a fuzz-like layer of bare trees seem so serene and statuesque that it just amazes me how beautiful old, worn out things are.
I ran across this editorial a long time ago, but I just thought of it again today. It has a sort of wistfulness that I always seem to associate with bluffs, hills, and old things, and it has the perfect blend of organic elements with ersatz beauty that just is awe-inspiring. One of my favorite editorials I've seen to date, although I say that about all my favorite editorials.

And I'm listening to Florence and the Machines- Dog Days. Go listen to it now. It makes you just want to just jump out of your seat and dance.

Obscure Rock Song Lyrics Here

2010-12-03T01:22:00.000-06:00

Mad for McQueen

2010-12-02T13:28:00.000-06:00

I've always loved Alexander McQueen- his designs toed the line between reality and fantasy so perfectly that it was impossible to not feel whimsical and dreamy just looking at the runway shots. That's why I was so wary of Sarah Burton's (who is now the designer for the Alexander McQueen collection) Spring 2011 RTW. With just the opening shot I was already biased against her (who could be as great as McQueen?), with the mother-earth vibe which contrasted sharply with McQueen's usually darker settings. But I as I wandered through the shots, I realized that while new, Burton was able to create fantasy and whimsy in the traditional McQueen aesthetic, but make it different, fresh somehow. The dresses themselves were remarkable in just the craftsmanship. Feathers and pleated organza, brocade and black leather- the dresses were startling to look at at first, but once I started staring, I just couldn't stop.

For some reason all I could think about was fairies, and which sorta of fairies would wear which dress. Fairy Royalty, Fairy Warrior, Fairy Secret Lover

and countless other characters that I dreamed up. By the end of the runway slideshow, I practically had a whole storyline of what a fairy world might be like. Everyone wore McQueen.

Even On Those Days When I'm Not Inspired, These Things Inspire Me

2010-12-01T16:41:00.000-06:00

We Exist in a Space Between Lust and Love, Constantly Losing Ourselves in Between

2010-12-01T15:21:00.000-06:00

"He knew that “I love you” also means “I love you more than anyone else loves you, or has loved you, or will love you,” and also “I love you in a way that way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” He knew that it is, by love’s definition, impossible to love two people. "

— Safran, Everything is Illuminated by Johnathan Safran Foer

This is just how I feel today...

Tat Attack

2010-11-30T20:27:00.000-06:00

I have a huge, huge thing for tattoos. I love them. So I figured I would post some of my favorite pics that I've found over the years. I don't love all the tattoo designs, but sometimes it's the placement that I love, or even just a beautiful photograph. Here are some of my favorites, more to come soon!

Words

2010-11-30T19:19:00.000-06:00

"The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful."

- The Unbearable Lightness of Being

California Dreamin' on Such a Winter's Day

2010-11-23T11:29:00.000-06:00

As soon as I stepped outside today, I was immediately reminded of the marvelous song “California Dreamin’” by the Mama’s and Papa’s. The dreary, gray weather made me think of the song, which made me thing of California, which made me thing of surfing. Which made me thing of Proenza Schouler Spring RTW, obviously. Yep, that’s the caliber of the train of thought that goes through my brain. All I want to do today is be on a beach, or lazing in the surf, or even merely wearing one of the fabulous pieces of clothing from Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough’s brilliant minds (which actually isn’t such a mere, obtainable wish, as we all know). I scourged through the archives of pictures I saved to my computer (I’m a crazy right-click-save fanatic) to find some images that would best satisfy my dreams of surf, spray, and sun-kissed skin. And apparently of dip-dyed hair and blissfully bright tie-dye dresses.

Gucci

2010-11-22T14:41:00.000-06:00

I wish I could live in the Gucci ads above. And in the amazing clothing from 08RTW and 09RST. I especially adore the white dress with orange print that the amazing Abbey Lee Kershaw is modeling for 09RST. I'm so into chiffon and blousey, floaty things right now, and fur, and how amazing are the over-the-knee boots with the swinging tassles. The gold, the Nordic patterns, the 70's England rock 'n' roll vibe, the vintage feel, the Cossack influence. It makes me wish I had a great big field to run around in with my friends and take scrumptious pictures with. I'm officially in love with Frida Giannini and the aesthetic she portrays.

Desiderata

2010-11-22T13:47:00.000-06:00

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Inspiration Sunday

2010-11-21T15:39:00.000-06:00

On this dreary and rainy Sunday I was just lolling around in my dorm room, pretending to do homework and lazily snacking on oyster crackers, just wishing it was Tuesday night where I could go home and prepare for the long weekend ahead of me that’s bound to be filled with food, family, and friends. My roommate was flipping idly through the channels when she stopped on Pirates of the Caribbean, At Word’s End. I was thrilled to see it, because Pirates of the Caribbean was a favorite film of mine for many years after it came out. I loved everything about it, the attitudes it embodied and embraced- freedom and fearlessness and a particular kind of recklessness. After watching, it, I felt just so inspired and, let’s be honest, a little wishing I was a pirate (granted, I was 11). While I’ve outgrown the desire to be a pirate, I still am inspired by the attitude, and furthermore, the looks of the pirates in the film. I decided to write a sort of series of things that inspire my personal style, which is, according to my friend, that of a “grungy, edgy hippie pirate whose grandmother was a fairy.” While I don’t really understand her examination of my personal style, I did get a good laugh out of it, and it made me sort of look at how I dress in a different sort of way. I began thinking of all the things that have inspired my style- influences on it, if you will- and the recent description of my style coupled with the viewing of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie made me realize how it might have had influence on my personal style now.
The character of Captain Jack Sparrow represented to me the perfect guy. Now I realize that there is just a little too much crazy there for someone in the real life, but something about the tattoos, rings, and copious amounts of eyeliner that I found to be sexy. And I guess that’s carried through to my adulthood as well- give me a guy whose more rough-and-tumble, a little more rocker (albeit without the eyeliner) over a preppy boy or a bro any day. I still have a passion for eyeliner, as anyone who knows me could tell you, but now, I prefer it on me. And that got me to thinking that just maybe my style was more influenced then I even realized. I hate plastic, bright jewelry, and instead choose metal, chains, organic feeling things. I have more rings than I could ever possibly wear, and I am just dying to get a tattoo or so. While I can’t attribute my desires or likes for these things entirely or even partially to this film, I’m inclined to think it did have some sort of influence, especially in taking into regard how much I watched the film and how I so admired the freedom the characters in the movie had. Even the clothing! Washed-out colors and breezy layers…the fact that the costume director put so much thought and effort into every characters outfit, every layer, every piece, is inspiriting in itself. And I just love it, the free-flowing hair, the loose layers upon loose layers, and the muted colors. Anyone who knows me has probably never seen me in a color that’s brighter then a cobalt, aureoline, or coral, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in Kelly green. I like the colors that seem as though they’ve been sitting in the sun for years, or that the dye has been almost completely washed out. And of course, a lot of black. But I digress-I am in love with the aesthetic of the pirates in the movies, and the effort it takes to build such a detailed yet nonchalant wardrobe.

If you are in need of some inspiration, I suggest watching the Pirates of the Caribbean film. Look at the costumes, the makeup, the cinematography of the film, and let yourself just soak up the inspiration. I know I did as a child, and it hasn’t been squeezed out yet.

Back in the Day...

2010-11-19T13:49:00.000-06:00

Back in the day, women seemed to really care about how they looked. They put time and effort into their appearance, and therefore took pride in it as well. It would be hard not to, with garments that were tailored to fit just their bodies, heels low enough to wear all day, every day, without extreme pain or permanent foot damage, and little hats to wear or red lipstick to apply. But no, today there is a widespread epidemic of sloppiness that is taking over the women of this country. The majority of girls in my 8:00 A.M class wear sweat pants with salt-crusted Uggs from last year, a black fleece jacket over a baggy t-shirt, and hair and makeup as if they literally just rolled out of bed. And while they may have the argument that it’s too early to be conscious and looking good, or that they indeed did just roll out of bed, I don’t really find those to be excuses at all. This morning, for instance, I slept through my alarm and had woken up naturally and blissfully slowly until I looked at the clock, at which I jumped up and scrambled down from my bunk. I had woken up with literally 20 minutes to get to class, which gave me a solid ten minutes to prepare. Did I pull on deliciously comfortable, snuggly sweatpants, or my softest, comfiest big t-shirt? No. I pulled on a white cami, a drapey printed white tank top, and a thin, bat-winged sweater, and paired it with jeans and my trusty flats. After some excessive dry shampoo use and a couple coats of mascara, I was out the door, and to class with time to spare.

If women all just took a little more time to get ready for their day, and took more pride in how they look, I think some huge differences could be made to the pseudo- dystopian American culture. Even if you don’t care about fashion, or style, there is honestly no good excuse to look like you rolled out of bed, even if you really just did. Pull on some jeans instead of sweats, a sweater instead of a hoodie, and either go completely fresh-faced or swipe on some mascara and go. And make sure you have plenty of dry shampoo.

Class or Trash?

2010-11-18T22:10:00.000-06:00

          Now, I don’t consider myself to be a sort of fancy, prissy lady who curls her hair and prides herself on her skills in the social graces, and I don’t adore perfect makeup and coifed hair. I like to go to parties; I prefer to not look as though I spent hours getting ready. I sometimes swear, I probably kiss too many boys, and I’m reckless far too often. In other words, I’m far from being a perfect lady. But there are some things I would never do.
          I think good manners are in my blood. I have been trained since I was little to have respect, but speak your mind. Have a voice, but make sure you aren’t too loud. Be charming and witty and courageous, but never vulgar or obscene. These are the lessons that have stayed with me my whole life thus far. But it never ceases to amaze me how these girls my age, my supposed peers, act in public.
Seriously. Getting wasted at parties, for example. Now, I’ve had my fair experiences of being intoxicated, drunk even. But even drunk, wasted me doesn’t even come close to some of these girls. When I’m drunk, I tend to gabber away and laugh a lot, teeter around and flirt a little (or a lot, who am I kidding) and overall have a good time. I don’t throw up, I never fall over, and I’m never hung-over the next morning. But these girls…if you could only see them. So drunk they are falling over and needing their friends to literally pull them up from the sticky, beer-soaked floor, falling all over guys (sloppy, drunk kisses are disgusting to witness, really), puking in kitchen sinks, and on one occasion one girl actually tackled me to the ground and stuck her tongue down my throat. Yep, this girl was kissing me like mad while I squirmed to escape. Ew. And I just don’t find that classy behavior. If everyone and their brother (literally) are getting free front-row tickets to a viewing of you lady bits, maybe you need to re-evaluate some life decisions.
           That’s an extreme example, of course. Friday nights and Saturday nights always tend to be extreme. But I’m talking about day-to-day life too. Take my old roommate for example: “fuck” is her favorite word to attach before any word in a sentence. I once counted how many times she used it in a three-sentence conversation that we had. She used it seven times. Seven. She wasn’t even mad or upset. Its just part of her vocabulary. And don’t even get me started on her conversations over the phone with her pseudo boyfriend-once she called him up at 3:00 in the afternoon and talked dirty to him for a good, solid hour. With me right in the room. At my desk. Doing homework. It was so gross and graphic I actually had to look up a couple times to see if she was joking around. But nope, there she was, perched on the futon, talking in strangely sterile, clean dirty talk. Like, she was using words that she probably got from her anatomy and physiology book. That sort of clean. Shudder . It was an interesting experience to witness to say the least.
           And there are about a million other things I could rant about. Being honest is one thing, being rude is another thing completely, and there is a fine line between honest and frank and outright rude. There’s something called an educated insult, which is far more refined that merely calling a girl a slut or mocking a physical trait of hers. A tip for all women: Never allow yourself to be in pictures when you are severely intoxicated. Unless you have an uncanny ability so smile sweetly, or keep your mouth closed for more then 10 seconds, avoid drunken party photos at all costs. My former roommate asked why I never had party photos on Facebook. And I told her it’s because I don’t want the world of facebook to see me drunk, as I tend to think it’s a little unprofessional and definitely not lady-like to have photos of yourself grinding up on a pole or every photo being with my mouth hanging open. And for the record, I don’t do either of those actions. She, on the other hand, has whole albums dedicated to the different parties she attends. Which is fine for her, I suppose. I just don’t find it to be particularly classy behavior.
          Right now, my nails are chipped, my eye makeup is a little smudged, and I’m wearing just a pair of leggings, some legwarmers, and a cropped sweatshirt. I'm sipping on hot cider, not Four Loko. I’m comfortable, casual, cozy, and thank God, still classy.

Compare and contrast these two pictures...

What if Every Eye Found Everyone to be Beautiful?

2010-11-18T15:08:00.000-06:00

The ever-lovely Olsen Twins

The French beauty Marion Cotillard

Adorable Maggie Gyllenhaal

The lovely model Coco Rocha

Pulchritudinous Cate Blanchett

Wide-eyed Amanda Seyfried

How happy does Julia Roberts look? Gorgeous.

Kirsten Dunst not pretty? Pshh.

Lara Stone proves that gaps are sexy

And my favorite, Sasha Pivovarova's alien-esque, ethereal good-looks

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, or so the ancient saying goes. I believe this is true and false, and I’ll tell you why I think that. Of course, people find different people attractive, and that’s the only way the world really can function. Imagine if every man found one woman attractive, if all men were in love with one woman. Wars would be started and people would be killed. Yes, that’s an extreme example, but you get the point. But that’s just the thing. I think everyone is sort of beautiful, in some way or another. There is nothing I hate more then to hear a girl call another girl ugly. I hate it. It seems petty and a cheap, the lowest blow I can imagine. I mean, especially between women! We all go through the same things, we all go through feelings of self-consciousness or inadequacy, we all eat too much chocolate sometimes, we all think, feel, and act as women act. Women are women, and are different individuals, obviously, but to clearly and brutally state that a fellow woman is ugly just gets my goat. Everyone judges of course, and I’m not saying I’m any different. Of course I feel that some women are more attractive then others, but I never really think a woman is ugly. It is just crazy to me. And somehow I don’t mind so much when men call women unattractive. Maybe it’s a double standard, but maybe because it feels normal for men to judge, because they are the ones that need to date and wine and dine, and eventually have sex with, a women they see as attractive. And there are all sorts of guys who like different types of girls, and for a guy to find a certain girl unattractive seems normal. But for women to call another woman ugly, I just don’t get it. How pretentious can you be? Ok I’m beating a dead horse now.
But seriously. Here are some pictures of women I all consider to be gorgeous. You may disagree, and I guess I can’t do anything about that. But to mock or jeer at a woman’s appearance, for which she has no control and possibly is insecure about now, and most definitely have been insecure about in the past (we’re women, seriously), seems immature and pointless. It’s one thing if a woman doesn’t take care of herself, if she doesn’t shower or wash her hair, wear clean clothing, or uses some deodorant. But if a woman is trying her best to feel good about herself, who the hell are you to judge her? Ugh. It burns me, obviously. Look at those pictures above, look me in the eye, and tell me honestly that not every single one of those women are beautiful. Just do some re-evaluation about the world around you, and maybe everything, and everyone will start looking a little more gorgeous.

It's a Monster Sort of Night

2010-11-18T01:37:00.000-06:00

            I’m awake. And it feels late, even though it’s not even 1:30 am, which, I guess, is actually pretty late. I want to sleep, but can’t. Not because I can’t actually fall asleep, but because I have about a million other things to do. And, being so overwhelmed, what is the thing I turn to? Wandering aimlessly through the World Wide Web in search for some sort of distraction. Pandora is playing in the background, and I’m finding myself getting frustrated because I’m not finding anything to pique my interest. I feel silly, looking for something distracting to avoid the real issues I’ll need to take care of sooner or later. Everyone likes distractions. It’s a very human feeling, I think. Just think about it for a second…we humans distract ourselves all the time. Escapism to counter the realism of life is really the only thing we can do to make ourselves feel better. We could just deal with our problems, of course, but sometimes that seems too hard or too scary. Sometimes I feel like a little, tiny girl, and when I get scared of anything, I cover my eyes. It’s easier to not see anything then to see the hard things I suppose.
          I think about monsters a lot. It’s very childish of me, I suppose, but I often think of monsters I have and monsters others have. I imagine them, being all fuzzy and cute and alluring, but with sharp little fangs. Sex Monster, Alcohol Monster, and Loneliness Monster…these are just a few monsters that I think about. Now, it’s easy for me to try to turn away from the monsters in my life, to shove them aside and do my best to ignore their sharp little bites. But sometimes, when I am weakened or tired, these little monsters come creeping into my mind. And that’s just the thing. None of these monsters are inherently bad. Not at all, actually. Being alone is good sometimes, sex is a lovely good time, and alcohol is pleasant spice to add to life. I think it may just be excess of these good, acceptable, normal things that start causing these little monsters to come out and play. In these cases, distractions are good, or at least they seem good. It’s still avoidance, but maybe the avoidance is a helpful, useful tool. Or maybe it’s just running away, or hiding, or covering your eyes.
        At a certain point, though, you just need to face your issues head on. Get off Facebook, turn the television off, and open your textbook. Pull on some shorts, throw your hair in a ponytail, and hit the gym. Grab some chocolate, some tissues, and go talk to your friend about why she’s so upset with you. You get the idea. And right now, I’m going to take some of my own advice. I’m closing down the word document, posting this online, then finish taking notes in preparation for an exam tomorrow. Tonight, I’m facing the Distraction Monster.

An Introduction, or, In Essence, A Non-Introduction

2010-11-17T20:15:00.000-06:00

I can’t categorize myself. I have tried, trust me. We as human’s like things to be put into nice, tidy boxes. That girl looks like a cheerleader; the boy looks like a punk. Because they look a certain way, I will place the girl in the box titled “cheerleader” and the boy in the box titled “punk”. Despite it being right or wrong, that's just what naturally happens. But I can’t do that to myself. I have been told several times that I am just one big contradiction, a big mix of things that that don’t make a whole bunch of sense. Nothing is congruent about me. I’m the girl who will pull on the pair of years-old jeans that are worn in all the right places, and wear them with the black v-neck and tousled hair. The next day I’ll be in breezy layers and delicate flats, and the next day I’ll be wearing a blazer over shorts over black opaque tights, with black boots. I know just how high a high-waisted skirt should be, and when it’s impractical to wear heels, I’ll wear them anyway. I may pull them off after an hour, or sometimes I’ll refuse to take them off at all, just because I can be unreasonably stubborn (For example, once I decided to wear sky high heels before going out for a night of parties. We got lost, and I ended up doing tons of walking, tons of intoxicated walking. I almost broke my ankles about a million times, but I wore those heels with pride that night!) I am quiet sometimes, but I always have a reckless playfulness that is in me, regardless of how many words I speak. I love adventures. And adventures can be anything from jumping off a cliff to sitting on a bridge with a good friend, devouring a whole pizza. I love being around people, but I need time to be by myself too. I need nights were I can just plug in a movie and curl up with a good book; those nights recharge me, and without them, I am fairly certain I would go insane. I can’t ever decide if I like cats or dogs more, my music tastes range from folk to metal to classic rock, and I think I was once in love. My favorite color is yellow, but only because every time I see it makes me sort of a miss of the melancholy and enthralled, and it’s a secret why it inspires that reaction in me. I like secrets. I can keep a secret like no other person I know; loyalty is one of the most important factors to me, regarding anything. I like clouds.

The thing I have been most called in my life is happy. People say I seem like a down to earth, happy person, and that’s the best title I think I could ever have. I don’t need to be called sexy or beautiful, I have nothing to prove. I love pictures, but not of myself. It’s not that I don’t think I’m attractive or somehow not “worthy” of pictures, but I know what I look like. I would prefer to look at new things, or familiar faces that I miss. I love new things, and when I say new, I don’t mean bought- from-Wal-Mart new. I mean new to me. Friend’s clothing castoff’s usually end up being my favorites, my grandma’s jewelry from when she was eighteen thrills me, and even broken things have a certain appeal to me. I constantly live in a state of being that is perpetually inspired. Take right now, for example. I’m just sitting in my dorm room at my desk, and all around me are pictures I’ve printed off and quotes and sketches I’ve done. And I still notice and appreciate how the wall next to me is all bumpy and rough except this little patch of smooth that is almost hidden behind the bed. That’s beautiful to me. I can’t explain it; it’s just how it is.

The real reason I’m starting this blog is to just tell a story. A sort of journal, if you will. I’m not sure what I’ll be posting, be it pictures or recipes or stories or just my random thoughts that I'll do my best to convert to writing. I was going to wait until I made my big move to the city (that’s a story for another time) but I decided there is no time like the present. I’ll leave you all today with my personal motto that states “Whatever you want to do, do it now. For life is time, and time is all there is”. Just get out there and do it.

Tener Mens

Beatles Frenzy

French Vogue April 2011

DIY Fever

Floppy Hats and Sunshine

Sometimes All I Have is Words...

Platinum Blonde Life

Summer Staples

For Love For Literature

No One's Gonna Love You

The Scars of Your Love Remind Me of Us

Spring is Hair

Liberté de la liberté d'être soi

I'm on Fire

The Night is For Ones Like Us

Au Revoir Sweet Innocence of My Youth

Kate Moss

Creature Lover

The Monster of Love

Someday I Will Have No Regrets

Everytime I Smell My Toner, It Makes Me Think of Vodka, Which Makes Me Think of That One Night, Which Makes Me Think of You

Homeward is Where I Would Like to Be, But Only if I'm With You

Zoe Kravitz

Pins Pins Pins

This Is Just How I Feel Today...

Dear High Heels, Thank You (And Other Random Musings)

I Miss Your Ginger Hair and The Way You Like to Dress

You Can Call Me a Dreamer...

David Downton

We Runnin' This Town Just Like a Club

Nebula Dust and Peach Tea

Tonight, There's a Lot of Things Going On

Fingers

I Kept My Promise, Don't Keep Your Distance

Let's Find Something Dumb to Do

*Obscure Rock Song Lyrics Here*

Mad for McQueen

Even On Those Days When I'm Not Inspired, These Things Inspire Me

We Exist in a Space Between Lust and Love, Constantly Losing Ourselves in Between

Tat Attack

Words

California Dreamin' on Such a Winter's Day

Gucci

Desiderata

Inspiration Sunday

Back in the Day...

Class or Trash?

What if Every Eye Found Everyone to be Beautiful?

It's a Monster Sort of Night

An Introduction, or, In Essence, A Non-Introduction

Obscure Rock Song Lyrics Here